Rattlesnake steaks

Giant Eagle Market District; Upper Arlington, OH

There is a new grocery store in Upper Arlington OH. It's "Market District" by Giant Eagle. It's the first Market District outside of the Pittsburgh area and only one of three (for now). Think Las Vegas + Disneyland = Over the top grocery store. This place has everything. It's loud. There are always these announcements over the loudspeaker. The international terminal at JFK Airport in NYC is sedate compared to this place.

If you go, be sure to check out the meat section. Elk. Yes. Wild boar. Sure, why not. Rattlesnake? Of course! Don't be silly - of course they have rattlesnake. For the ultra reasonable price of $29/pound, you can dine on the finest that the southwest deserts of the U.S. has to offer.

Button-Eyed Dolls

Unknown store; San Francisco, CA

A friend sent me this photo. This photo was taken in the Chinatown section of San Francisco, CA. I lived there for a few years a while ago and Chinatown in SF is excellent for hearing, smelling, and seeing weird stuff. This photo brings back warm memories.

I'm not sure what to make of these things. They are dolls. They have buttons for eyes.Two of them are wearing underwear. They all have bad teeth: one of them has braces, another looks like it got punched in the mouth by Mike Tyson, and a pair of them have vampire teeth. I'd like to think these dolls as some type of artistic statement about Janov's primal scream therapy - but I'm pretty sure it's simply someone finding some crap lying around the house, making them into dolls, and knowing that some dummy out there will buy one, if not all of them.

Potted Meat

Walmart; Columbus, OH

"Potted?"
"Plants."
"Good answer!"

"Potted?"
"Meat."
"Don't be stupid, you moron."

I beg to disagree. There is something out there called "potted meat." It has nothing to do with a potted plant. It's all about mechanically separated chicken, beef tripe, partially defatted cooked beef fatty tissue, beef hearts, water, partially defatted cooked pork fatty tissue, salt, and less than 2 percent: mustard, natural flavorings, dried garlic, dextrose, sodium erythorbate, and sodium nitrite.

"Yes, sir, may I have another?"

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Pirate's Booty

Kroger; Columbus, OH

When I hear "pirate," I think shiver me timbers and walk the plank, you scurvy dog! and wearing a cool eye patch. When people think "booty," the popular consensus is everyone immediately thinks "Kim Kardashian." So, when I think "Pirate's Booty," I'm thinking Kim K. is wearing an eye patch and waving a sword around. Really? Well, you would be WRONG. Pirate's Booty is all about potato chips. And white cheddar - AGED white cheddar, thank you very much. You see, pirates only eat old cheese. So now it makes sense.

Pickled Sausage

Kroger; Columbus, OH

I'm not sure what's more bizarre: the little drunk man wearing a top hat, leaning against a pole, that appears on this label - or the fact that anyone would even consider eating this stuff.

Mo's Dark Bacon Bar

As seen in Cost Plus-World Market; Columbus OH

While shopping for a simple dark chocolate bar I came across this tempting feast. What goes better with dark chocolate than applewood smoked bacon and alderwood smoked salt? Nothing, it turns out.