Pirate's Booty

Kroger; Columbus, OH

When I hear "pirate," I think shiver me timbers and walk the plank, you scurvy dog! and wearing a cool eye patch. When people think "booty," the popular consensus is everyone immediately thinks "Kim Kardashian." So, when I think "Pirate's Booty," I'm thinking Kim K. is wearing an eye patch and waving a sword around. Really? Well, you would be WRONG. Pirate's Booty is all about potato chips. And white cheddar - AGED white cheddar, thank you very much. You see, pirates only eat old cheese. So now it makes sense.

Pickled Sausage

Kroger; Columbus, OH

I'm not sure what's more bizarre: the little drunk man wearing a top hat, leaning against a pole, that appears on this label - or the fact that anyone would even consider eating this stuff.

Mo's Dark Bacon Bar

As seen in Cost Plus-World Market; Columbus OH

While shopping for a simple dark chocolate bar I came across this tempting feast. What goes better with dark chocolate than applewood smoked bacon and alderwood smoked salt? Nothing, it turns out.